Gittin My Ish Together Now

Discovering Self-Love:

Like Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz, I searched everywhere for home, happiness, joy, and peace. What I needed was inside of me the entire time. Happiness was not about the past, collecting degrees, or finding ‘The One.’ It was self-love, peace, joy, and happiness from within—right inside of me all along. Happiness was not a straight line, it was a series of pivotal moments.

Pivotal Moments

Grad School Wake-Up:
At a grad school luncheon, everyone shared travel stories. Me? I had none. I hadn't been anywhere. I hated this feeling. Now, my passport is full of stamps, and I’m the one leading the conversation about world travel. Lesson learned: It may take time, but it can still happen.

The Montreal Trip That Got Away:
As a kid in the housing projects, I dreamed of going to Paris. I read that Montreal was the next best thing. I waited on a significant other to decide to go and missed a cheap flight to Montreal. Years later, I booked a solo trip to Montreal, and walked the streets until my feet were raw. A decade later, I went to Paris solo. I sailed the River Seine and picnicked on a blanket in front of the EiffelTown to dark and watched it light up. I’ve trekked to the City of Enlightenment twice. Lesson learned: Don’t wait for anyone. You will miss out on so much of life if you do. Many think that if they don't go, you shouldn't either.

Ditching the Downers Near and Far:
I once dated someone who loved to try to shrink my accomplishments. My college degrees? Little. Rental property. Little. My children traveling the world. Little. Lesson learned: Most individuals are always in automatic comparison mode. They look at you and then look at themselves. When they don't compare, they do all sorts of silly stuff, snide remarks, imitation, or say what you've done is nothing. I don't shrink for anyone.

My Youngest Daughter’s Graduation:
After my youngest daughter’s graduation, I looked up at the clear cerulean blue sky and said, God, these girls are fine. It's time to do me. It was time to put myself first. I had sacrificed enough. Lesson learned: Don’t wait to make yourself a priority.

Working With The Terminally Ill:
Working with terminally ill patients showed me how precious life is. One patient, at peace with his prognosis, reflected on his life and had no regrets. I stood outside of his room and declared that's how I am going out.
Lesson learned: Time is my most precious resource.

Flash-Forward Jolt:
After a long day, I had an epiphany: My life flashed forward. At the end of my life was a scene of myself and my ex-husband polishing a bar stool. I had accomplished nothing in life. Scared the shit out of me. Later, I told my ex, I have things to accomplish in life, and I don’t think they include you. Lesson learned: Trust that inner voice. The highlight of his life is still polishing a bar stool.

Freedom Post-Divorce:
The day after my divorce, I stared at the ceiling and asked, where do I go from here Lord? In a nanosecond, I said to myself, You were going nowhere with him. Get yo ass up and live life. And I did—solo travel around the world, pilot lessons, finished my MBA, and I bought a motorcycle during COVID because I refused to be bored. Lesson learned: Make lemonade out of lemons. Take control of your happiness.

Flying High:
Before my divorce, I took a flying lesson. Excited I told my ex, who said, why would you want to do something like that? Flying made me fearless. It pushes me beyond what I thought I could do. It is my therapy and freedom. The sky is my happy place. Lesson learned: You can’t soar with dead weight.

Summary:
Life’s too short. After losing my mother and 2 younger siblings, I’m on a no-regrets in life mission. I’ve learned to dream and live a bigger life. I love myself and embrace every adventure. Life is a garden—keep planting, keep nurturing, keep growing, and keep sowing. I’m having the time of my life.

Call to Action:
A decision and action will change your life. Don’t wait for the “right time.” The time is now. Live life unapologetically. Dez

Plant - Nurture - Grow - Sow