When Life Hands You the Caregiver Role

When Life Hands You the Caregiver Role

Little did I know when I first wrote this article for work that I'd be stepping right into this role sooner than expected. Like so many others, I took on the title of caregiver by default. For the past seven years, I’ve been the go-to for my 85-year-old dad, and let me tell you—being in healthcare doesn’t make it any easier. Keeping someone motivated to roll with the cards they've been dealt? That’s been one of my biggest challenges yet.

The Ultimate Balancing Act
Imagine holding down a job, rushing to check on a parent in the hospital, managing their daily tasks, keeping meals going, running errands, shuttling kids to and from activities, keeping up with your partner’s needs—all while trying not to lose your mind. Welcome to the sandwich generation! It’s a mix of people balancing care for their own families while also taking care of aging parents.

The Role No One Signs Up For
And let’s be real, this role often isn’t something you choose; it just falls into place. Traditionally, women end up shouldering the bulk of this responsibility. When families have multiple kids, the caregiving usually still falls to one, and the best (and worst) sides of family dynamics come out in full force. Caregivers juggle exhaustion, guilt, frustration, and burnout as they try to give it their all in one of the most demanding roles life throws their way.

Where to Find Help
Luckily, help is out there—both formal and informal. Health facilities, aging departments, and community organizations might have resources like adult day care, Meals on Wheels, and companion services. Churches, neighbors, and even hired help can make a huge difference too. Don’t hesitate to ask healthcare providers, local organizations, or friends for recommendations.

Keeping the Family Peace
Sometimes, a neutral third party—a counselor, coach, or mediator—can step in to keep the peace if family members struggle to see eye-to-eye. Sorting out conflicts is crucial; resentment can hang around long after the need for care ends. The goal? Helping our loved ones live their best life, in the most supportive environment possible.

Remembering to Take Care of You
Being a caregiver is one of the toughest jobs you’ll ever step into. But don’t forget—you have to take care of yourself too, or stress will catch up with you. Go at your own pace, tune in to your feelings, and make time to unwind. As intense as caregiving can be, it’s also a chance to share beautiful moments and really bond with your parent. This role isn’t easy, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

Update

I am now planning to place my father in an assisted living. It brings tears to my eyes, but it is for his safety as he keeps falling. In fact, after his last fall, he said, just find me a nursing home. I admit, I am looking forward to regaining my freedom. I can't imagine what is going through his mind. He knows nursing homes all too well. My great grandmother spent over 20 years in nursing homes.

Warm regards